50 Q to free your mind. (46-50)

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Speak my mind more freely and stop second guessing myself.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Last night when I was laying in bed by myself.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

My husband and yes I have.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

Probably not so much.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Some I am making for myself. Others are being made for me thanks to the United States Marine Corps

A promise.

A friend of mine posted this on her blog and it struck a cord with me. Everything written here is so true.

A Military Mans promise:

I cannot promise you every night of my life. I cannot promise to be beside you for every difficult moment, every trial, and every hardship. In truth, I can promise you that I will not be with you for most. I will leave you at inconvenient times. Any special date to us may be tainted with the anniversary of the death of one of my friends. I will ask you to take over whatever life we have built together for months and years at a time. And will then crash back into that life that you have used your sweat, your tears and your heartache to keep together, and try to take it back as I knew it before.

I will shut you out at times because it will be the best way for me to hold it together at that moment. I will lie to you. I will tell you I don't know things when I do. I will not always tell you where I am going, when I will be back, or who I am with. I may not call you for weeks and months and you will not be able to call me. You will ask questions that I won't answer. You will know answers to questions that you will hope you never need.

I will share things with my brothers that you will never understand. They will know things about me that you never will. They will be a support to me in some things that you cannot be. I will miss birthdays. I will miss anniversaries. I may need time to process things that seem natural to everyone else.

It will seem that someone - or something - will always take precedence over you.

I will uproot you and ask you to re-establish our family anywhere in the world, in any season, at any time - over and over again. Sand and mud will be tracked through your halls from the boots I am too tired to take off.

I will leave you when you beg me not to. I will stand at attention while you cry beside me. I will not turn my head and I will walk away. I will knowingly break your heart. And I will do it again - and again. I cannot promise you all of me. I cannot promise you much of anything.

But if you will have me, I can promise that as I march away from you, it is not without sharing your heartache. I promise you that every time I break your heart I will be breaking mine. Every time that I cannot answer you I will be protecting you. Whenever you want to call and you have no number to dial, I will be wanting to do the same. I will protect everything that we have created together with every fiber of my being while you do the same back at home. I will honor you in everything - every moment that we are apart and every moment that I am with you. I will fight harder and push further knowing that I do so for you. And I will carry you with me in everything, until my sandy boots once again sit just inside our door.

A Military Spouse's promise:

I cannot promise that I will not become frustrated when you leave me and the world seems to fall apart around me. I cannot promise that I will not curse those who sent you when the dryer breaks, and the transmission needs to be replaced, and the dog eats the couch all in the same week - most likely the week after you deploy. I cannot promise that the sand and mud that cakes my floor will not cause me to give you harsh looks and rude thoughts. I cannot promise that my heart will not be torn in twelve different ways when you march away from me. I cannot promise that I will not let my anger show when you refuse to answer questions. I cannot promise to understand why you share things with your comrades that you will not share with me. I cannot promise that there won’t be times when my heartache makes its presence known before my pride can mask it. I cannot promise that I will not show my worry and my concern when it is best for you not to see it. I cannot promise to understand why you do so many of the things you do.

I can promise that for as many tears of sadness and frustration and anger that are shed there will be double that of tears of pride. I can promise you that for every time you are away from me, I will learn to cherish the times that you are with me. In everything I will honor you and honor your sacrifice. I can promise to teach our children to do the same. I will use every moment that you are not with them to show them the amazing man that you are through my actions and my pride. I can promise that there will never be a night where you are not the subject of my final prayer and the keeper of my dreams. I promise to try to be understanding that there are many things I will never understand. I promise to keep you with me in everything and to do my best to keep grace in this life. I will be strong for you as you are strong for me and I will carry you with me in every moment until your sandy boots again sit just inside our door.

MilSpouse Fill in Friday

I want to go back to school to pursue my Masters in Social Work.

I have to clean my house because it's disgusting.

I wish could hire someone to clean my house for me.

I hope that my up coming trip is as much fun as I think it will be.

I wonder if my husband will call me soon. I miss his face.

50 Q to free your mind. (41-45)

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

Andrew, my mom, dad, step-mom, sisters, nephews, nieces, grandparents, Andrea, Missy, and Holly

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

No

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Being alive is just breathing and going through the motions. Truly living is enjoying what you do, taking risks, having adventures, sometimes failing, but always getting back up to try again.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

Before it's to late to do the right thing.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Because failure never feels good.

50 Q to free your mind. (36-40)

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

When your young and everything is black and white maybe, but as you get older things become gray and the lines become skewed.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

I don't currently have a job, so no.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

Less work to do so that I can spend my time doing the things I enjoy.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Yes.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

Never.

50 Q to free your mind. (31-35)

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

When Andrew got home for his 2 weeks of R&R.

If not now, then when?

Hopefully soon, but definitely not never.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Not to terribly much, you have to try to fail and if you fail you should rethink your plan and try again.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yes

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Because you have to support what you believe in.

Wordless Wednesday.

All images were taken by Heartlove Photography